Thursday, May 19, 2005

Toby Did It

Yesterday, I thought I’d prune back the honeysuckle trees a little to give one of the rose bushes more light. Before I knew it, I had pruned nearly the entire row of trees and covered the lawn with flowering branches. At 9 p.m., it was too dark to continue and I went inside. Mike arrived home from his study group soon after. Evidently, it wasn’t too dark to see what I had done:


When he asked me what on earth had happened, I replied “Toby did it.”

We blame many things on Toby, but Toby is imaginary. When Mike was a kid, he and his other siblings convinced the youngest, Tyler, that he had a twin named Toby. Toby died at birth, but his ghost continued to haunt the family. In fact, Toby’s evil spirit possessed Tyler’s My Buddy doll (a la Chucky). In an effort to exorcise Toby, My Buddy was tortured and buried. Still, Toby is not at rest.

Toby lives at our house now. He gives the cats too much food and makes Mimi fat. He overflows the bathwater onto the floor. He eats all the cookies. He leaves the door unlocked. I hate that Toby!

Toby is very convenient when we’re looking for a scapegoat. However, he is nowhere to be found when its time to clean up. I guess I’ll be picking up Toby’s trimming mess myself.

10 Comments:

Anonymous Jason said...

Ahhh... My Buddy. Thanks for the blast to the past.

6:20 AM  
Blogger Jess said...

My buddy... My buddy... Wherever he goes, I will go too, my buddy... my buddy...

Sorry. Got a little carried away!

Ah, toys of the 80s.

9:35 AM  
Blogger amy said...

I think it's good to have an imaginary scapegoat. Until we get either a dog or have a baby, I'm sure my husband will be blaming random stuffed animals for his mistakes.

10:15 AM  
Blogger Kristin said...

Toby must've visited our house and made Henry fat. He makes Mimi look like a slender ballerina.

12:22 PM  
Blogger Kristin said...

Ah, and I'm reminded of the time my sister and I convinced our younger cousin that we were aliens from Saturn.

12:22 PM  
Blogger Scott in Washington said...

Ahhh, pleasant memories of when my male cousin and I would torture my female cousin's cabbage patch dolls....

4:19 PM  
Anonymous Trissa said...

It reminds me of the Family Circle comic and "not me". Great story- we may also start blaming Toby for things around here!

8:49 PM  
Blogger Kasmira said...

I knew a girl who's parents alternately told her that she was an alien or that they had found her in the trash. She believed both for her first few years. I think she's permanently scarred.

5:55 AM  
Blogger Scott in Washington said...

Thats Terrible!

But then I remember that when I was about nine my uncle told me that in the past the Earth had been about to blow up and so they had sent a letter to everyone on the planet that told them the night that we were all going to board spaceships and come to this planet we live on now, except we couldn't tell the stupid people because they'd just freak out, so they had to be gassed in their beds and make the trip in hibernation and then wait until we got all the new houses, roads, etc. built before we woke them up. I went to my cousin and he said that, yes, he remembered that too - that it had happened about two years before.

For weeks after that I thought, "Man o' man, I'm one of the stupid people..."

12:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Strange story. Nothing like that has ever happened to me. And I usually dont blame the stuff I do on an imaginary thing.......I blame them on my sister.

2:05 PM  

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