Toby Did It

Yesterday, I thought I’d prune back the honeysuckle trees a little to give one of the rose bushes more light. Before I knew it, I had pruned nearly the entire row of trees and covered the lawn with flowering branches. At 9 p.m., it was too dark to continue and I went inside. Mike arrived home from his study group soon after. Evidently, it wasn’t too dark to see what I had done:


When he asked me what on earth had happened, I replied “Toby did it.”

We blame many things on Toby, but Toby is imaginary. When Mike was a kid, he and his other siblings convinced the youngest, Tyler, that he had a twin named Toby. Toby died at birth, but his ghost continued to haunt the family. In fact, Toby’s evil spirit possessed Tyler’s My Buddy doll (a la Chucky). In an effort to exorcise Toby, My Buddy was tortured and buried. Still, Toby is not at rest.

Toby lives at our house now. He gives the cats too much food and makes Mimi fat. He overflows the bathwater onto the floor. He eats all the cookies. He leaves the door unlocked. I hate that Toby!

Toby is very convenient when we’re looking for a scapegoat. However, he is nowhere to be found when its time to clean up. I guess I’ll be picking up Toby’s trimming mess myself.