I Done Broke the Pick-Ax
Kazzy-mira took a pick-ax,
And gave that damned yew forty whacks.
That is, until she broke it. The pick-ax, that is.
Yes, once again, I apparently don’t know my own strength. I’ve torn apart soldering trying to plumb the dishwasher, bent an iron bar prying the first yew out, and busted the pick-ax grubbing at the second yew’s roots. The worst part is, both the iron bar and pick-ax belong to neighbor Tim. He’s already forgiven me for the bar, but doesn’t know about the pick-ax yet.
The ax handle broke at the head as I was prying at a root. Theoretically, I can buy a new handle, pop the old piece out, insert the replacement, and soak it in a bucket of water until the wood swells and secures the ax head. In the meantime, I’m a little uneasy about using a regular ax on the roots. Axes aren’t meant for the dirt; pick-axes are.
I was quite saddened when the pick-ax broke. I was successfully venting my day’s frustrations by hacking the yew to pieces. I was also entertaining three of my neighbors. They were gawking from their front yard, across the street. Alas, the show ended prematurely. I had to continue my therapy by ripping out black horehound instead. I soon lost my audience.
I guess I’ll be trying to break Tim’s regular ax tomorrow evening. Should I charge admission?
When she saw what she had done,
She grabbed an ax, and gave it forty-one.
And gave that damned yew forty whacks.
That is, until she broke it. The pick-ax, that is.
Yes, once again, I apparently don’t know my own strength. I’ve torn apart soldering trying to plumb the dishwasher, bent an iron bar prying the first yew out, and busted the pick-ax grubbing at the second yew’s roots. The worst part is, both the iron bar and pick-ax belong to neighbor Tim. He’s already forgiven me for the bar, but doesn’t know about the pick-ax yet.
The ax handle broke at the head as I was prying at a root. Theoretically, I can buy a new handle, pop the old piece out, insert the replacement, and soak it in a bucket of water until the wood swells and secures the ax head. In the meantime, I’m a little uneasy about using a regular ax on the roots. Axes aren’t meant for the dirt; pick-axes are.
I was quite saddened when the pick-ax broke. I was successfully venting my day’s frustrations by hacking the yew to pieces. I was also entertaining three of my neighbors. They were gawking from their front yard, across the street. Alas, the show ended prematurely. I had to continue my therapy by ripping out black horehound instead. I soon lost my audience.
I guess I’ll be trying to break Tim’s regular ax tomorrow evening. Should I charge admission?
When she saw what she had done,
She grabbed an ax, and gave it forty-one.
posted by Kasmira at 19.4.05
4 Comments:
I was always taught that you return borrowed tools in better shape then you get them. Not only would he be happy with a new handle but he would probably think of you as a very good neighbor and be happy to loan you tools again.
A friend of mine showed me his small, beat up hand axe once. He told me, "This was my Great, Great Grandfather's axe." I looked at the axe with wide eyes and said, "Really, that is so cool." He said, "You bet it is. Of course, I've replaced the handle twice and the axe head once..."
So, if the pick-axe has a new handle, will there be a repeat performance?
What do "yew" do for an encore?
Hee hee, and after all that bragging about your pickax-ing skills. :) Just teasin', Lizzie Borden.
Hi Kasmira,
You might do well to invest in an ax mattock. It's my favorite. It has a sharpened hoe on one side of the head, (good for prying/digging) and an ax on the other - made especially for chopping roots while they're still in the ground. The pick ax is better for leveraging rocks. If your dirt is more rooty than rocky, it might be a more useful tool. Also, get a hardware store to sharoen it for you before you use it - they ship them fairly dull.
Faster Pussycat
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